What no one ever told me about becoming a mom
What no one ever told me about becoming a mom
No one ever told me that it would feel lonely at times. That finding the balance between being a mom, a wife and keeping my cup full would be one of the hardest balances I would face. No one ever told me that I could feel so much fear and anxiety trying to keep my children safe, that even 7 years later I check to see if they are breathing at night before I go to bed. No one ever told me that I would have moments of such gratitude for becoming a mom that my heart swells and then have moments that make me want to run away. I wish that someone would have told me that it is ok to have my kids watch t.v. and that not everything they eat needs to be organic.
Having pressure to do everything right when what we perceive as the "right thing" is only because of what the parent on pinterest tells us is the correct way to do things.
I have found that for me, finding a balance is a never ending game of trying to raise healthy, wholehearted humans, while simultaneously trying to do things that inspire me as well as be present for my husband. Becoming a parent isn’t some magical fairytale it is more like the craziest roller coaster ride you will EVER go on. The moment things start to feel like they are coasting smoothly , something comes along to throw it off course and then you are right back riding up the coaster not knowing where it will take you. It is the WILDEST and the BEST and CRAZIEST ride of your life time. One thing I am certain of is that being a parent is NEVER boring. In the 7 years of being a mom one thing that hasn't changed for me is how deeply in love I am and how they find ways to amaze me every day. Its funny how the littlest things they do can bring us so much joy. And I can't forget all the crazy, silly things we do just to get a single laugh or smile. When they are probably laughing because they are thinking " look what I can make them do". My favorite thing is when I get to watch them figure something out on their own, play and get messy. Watching them learn new things and get so excited about it. I remember my daughters first camping trip, she was constantly eating dirt, exploring and just getting the dirtiest shes ever been and when we came home I swear she grew another year in her vocabulary and just overall personality. It was really remarkable to witness.
Being a mother strips us of everything we once were, it lets us dive deeper into what makes us who we are so we can make sure to change things that our parents did that may have not been so helpful in our upbringing
It can be so confusing knowing what is the "right " way to do things when it seems that there are so many experts who know the best way our kids should be raised.
For me, in this time what I have done is just lean into what feels best for my family. That may change every month because what each child need is different from the other. They are individuals and they are also trying to figure out who they are and what they like. So be patient with yourself and your child. Remember that we are all figuring out this parent thing together. And the way Judy raises her kids, does not have to be the way you raise yours. What she believes is the correct way to parent, to co -sleep , to breastfeed, bottle feed stems from her believes and her child's individual needs. Yes it doesn't hurt to ask for others opinions but in the end ( just like planning for birth) you have to make the choices that FEEL right for you , that align best with your values of being a parent.
I have a neighbor that cringes everytime i mention i co-sleep or breastfeed my at the time 2.5 year old. But that's ok, it's not her cup of tea and that is not wrong. I just have to find other mommas that also align with the same values if I am wanting to ask for advice without judgement.
Being a mom is challenging and rewarding .. what's that quote? " "nothing rewarding comes without hard work?" I mean I can't even imagine not kissing owies, or snuggling them after they wake up, teaching them all the amazing things about the world and life.
Sharing this life with my children is the best gift I could ever imagine receiving even through the breastfeeding struggles, the sleepless nights, the endless diaper changes, the 100 snacks a day, the meltdowns from me and them it is all worth it, it's a beautiful dance of learning together.
I want you to know that your child loves you because you are their mother, no one can take that away from you. you birthed them in to this world and that deserves a HUGE applaud. Know that you never had to do this mother thing alone and we are all in this momma club together.
Happy Mothers day!
May we raise our tiny humans to be compassionate, to love themselves as much as we do, to see their individual beauty and be able to express their creativity, and for them to grow feeling that they truly can do and be anything that they want to in this life over and over again.
I love how this quote pertains to parenthood
"Do not expect to be prepared. Life is preparing you to be unprepared. To step from the top of a hundred-foot pole. To have no idea what will happen next. to do whatever is required, without judgment or hesitation. - Karen Maezen Miller
