Fear Of Childbirth
" I do not believe that the goal of birth is to be fearless. Instead, I believe birth requires courage. There's a huge difference between the two. Being fearless implies a lack of fear, whereas being courageous means that even if fear comes, we can still move forward in the face of it. "
- Britta Bushnell, Transformed by Birth
This is really a really big topic and I want to dive a little deeper in to it and offer some tips to help soften the hard edges that come when navigating the trails of becoming a parent.
Whether it be fear about giving birth, bringing home a new baby , how you're going to be a mother or becoming a mother of more than one or two let's dive in..
First thing is to address where this fear of giving birth is coming from?
Most of the time it is from an old belief we have. This is usually something that we that we have been told to believe that birth is scary, painful, not possible to do vaginally or something that you should be numb from experiencing.
For example, If your mom had all c-sections. You may have grown up believing that you will not be able to have vaginal births because of this. Or t.v. shows that we watch that dictate how births are excruciating, that you are meant to be wearing a hospital gown, staying on the bed screaming at your husband because he did this to you.
Fear is a subconscious believe we have from things we have grown up seeing and hearing. We then adopt these as truths.
Giving birth is a right of passage, it is not something to be scared of. It is something to embrace.
If you are scared to get an epidural - but are also scared of the pain.
I encourage you to educate yourself.
Educating yourself about what scares you or makes you nervous is the antidote to break that fear down and turn it into an empowering experience.
What I do to combat fears that sneak in and try to steal my joy and excitement are
1. READ READ READ
Reading books about the nature of giving birth
anything that is going to give you information based on biology, and truth.
Not fear.
Anxiety comes from a fear of the unknown. So make it known. Look at your fear in the face, and say I am going to educate myself about you so I know exactly what you look like, feel like, sound like and how I am going to conquer you.
2.I have started to listen to affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements that you say to yourself of listen to. These are powerful words that when used daily, are absorbed by your subconscious mind and stored for you to be able to use as tools to guide you , calm you and empower you.
3. I hand picked my birth team
I hired only people that are going to empower me and remind me of how to embrace and not tense up from it. This includes everyone from my Provider, my doula, my photographer and who will watch my kids. EVERYONE that will be in my birth space I have made sure I feel safe, supported and I know that they all have mine and my babies best interests in mind.
4. Speak your fears out loud
to those who will listen and hold space for you to navigate these thoughts you have. For me, it is my Midwife.
Help your partner also know how to talk to you and what to remind you of when it gets hard.
5. Practice labor techniques
This can look like Ice Contractions, Hand squeezing contractions, Practice visualizing your labor with your partner as you work on different coping strategies.
The last thing I will suggest hear is listening to birth stories, my favorite way is podcasts. here are my favorites for positive and informative stories.
and for VBACS - The VBAC Link Podcast
Ignoring your fears is not very helpful. Instead do something about these fears you have , and be courageous.
What are you fearful of?
How do you plan on embracing the fear and creating a safe space for you to open in birth instead of closing yourself off?
What will you need to ask of yourself in order to be open and vulnerable in labor?
Remember that birth requires you to open up and if your fears are not addressed you very may very likely be closing yourself up.
Be brave, be courageous. I know you can do this!
I would love to hear what has helped you in preparing for labor. As always be sure to share this so we can help as many parents prepare for labor and birth as possible.
Have an amazing day friends!!
